Let’s stay together ’til we’re ghosts

Serious question:
What is marriage now?

Is it no longer sacred but now a habitual practice?


I was 16 when my parents called it quits. It was the end of my world at the time because well, they were my crutches in life.. as I was learning to walk on my own and they wanted nothing to do with each other.

But now that I'm older, I see they are much happier single. And yes that's important but how did they become UNhappy?? When did my parents fall OUT of love and if it's true love, is that even possible??

I personally find it funny that newlyweds are given a "certificate of marriage".. I mean, if you think about it, they're receiving their certificate of achievement BEFORE the actual achievement = STAYING MARRIED. It never made sense to me and it probably never will, until it's MY TURN to say I DO..after all, anyone can get married, staying married is the challenge.

I guess its one of those things where, you don't know if its real.. until you make it to the end.

That Song Reminds Me Of...

Am I the only one who busts out laughing randomly when a song comes on, cause it brings back memories?? I DO THAT ALOT! SO...
I put my iPod on shuffle and let it play, and let the stories in my head play LOL
 good times :)

Usher Ft. Pitbull - DJ Got Us Fallin In Love : Reminds me of Saul, "Prance, Prance like its the last night of your life, life!" HAHAHAHA!!!!

Common Ft. Kanye West - Go : Reminds me of when my brother showed me his favorite rappers all in one day.. it took the WHOLE DAY.  We went from west coast, to the south, to the east coast rappers! HAHA

Christina Aguilera - Not Myself Tonight : Reminds me of Zavier. He showed me this video in Economics and corrupted my mind (O.o)

 DJ Khaled - All I Do Is Win: Reminds me of SO MANY FUN TIMES! First, when I was at the gym, this song came on my iPod... and I started running FASTER AND FASTER!! THE GUY NEXT TO ME WAS LOOKING AT ME WEIRD! LIKE, "Dang, this little girl is hardcore!" LMFAO. Second; It reminds me of the fun times at Club Pure :)

Shinedown - Second Chance : Reminds me of my little brother and our music videos. HAHA. I would sing lead and he was the headbangin guitarist! YUH!

Alicia Keys- Any song from her album "Songs in A Minor" reminds me of my big brother, cause he was IN LOVE WITH HER!!!

The Script - Breakeven : Reminds me Estefy, this girl is obsessed with The Script  " I'm going to that fxcking concert, even if it kills me!!"

Trey Songz - Neighbors Know My Name: Reminds me of my cousin Vanessa, "SCREAMIN, SCRATCHIN, YELLIN! " >> Long Story! lmfao.

Usher- OMG : Reminds me of Karim!!! <3

Alicia Keys - Unthinkable : Reminds me of my cousin Erica. I have no reason for this, LOL! It just does!

N'Sync - Gone : Reminds me of my best friend from elementary school, Selena. WE WERE OBSESSED!!

Aerosmith - Crazy : Reminds me of my mom! HAHA. 'Nuff said.

Rascal Flatts - Life Is a Highway : Reminds me of my cousin Esme :) Cause she makes me happy like this song :D

We the Kings Ft. Demi Lovato - We'll Be a Dream : Reminds me of Billy and our jam sessions :D

Eagles - Hotel California : Reminds me of Dennis when he'd sing at Rogers house x) BAHAHA!

Colby O'Donis Ft. Akon - What You Got : Reminds me of the summer before my Jr. year, when I was living with my mom in Duncanville LOL. MTVTres was my channel!

Trisha Yearwood - How Do I Live : Reminds me of my parents, my mom would sing this to my dad :') Even though he didn't understand a word, he'd still smile. I miss that...

Labor Day Weekend, YAY!

Labor Day Weekend Mission:

1. Bring back my TV
2. Chill with my brother
3. Pet my cat Bandit.
4. VISIT ISABELLA!

Upon arriving Friday evening, all I could think about is seeing my cousin Jasmine's new baby x)

ISABELLA GRACE. 

I had only seen pictures since I wasn't in town but I could just imagine how cute she was..

and as soon as I saw her, I was certain of how perfect she was.

Napping on Mommy :)

Napping with her blanket I made :)

LOOK AT HER SLIPPERS x)

So after sleeping over Jasmine's to visit BellaBear and watch some chick flicks, we had ourselves a PACHANGA to get to LMAO. My big cousin Liz turned 21!! OMG.. I feel old! I'm turning 19 soon, GEEZ! Anywho, it was about to go dowwnn at my uncles house. I'm pretty sure, my previous blogs can further explain how my family throws a party.  AYE.

 So I'm dancing with my cousin's.. (who I thought were still in Middle School but are actually Jr's and Sr's in High School) and I realize how old I am. I don't consider myself grown, but I'm now a young adult, and it feels so weird saying that, cause I still sit on my mom's lap x) and I'm over here slow dancing with my mom like if I'm 6 years old again and she's my hero all over again, and it hit me.. I'm not a little girl anymore...

they only think they're cool. LOL.

 OMG. I've had some adventures with these two.. SMH. Spending the summer with grandma on her front porch trying to hustle the neighborhood kids for some jewelry was the thing back in our day HAHA. Hustling is just in our blood. LMAO.

probably the best birthday cake evar!!

B Day Girl and the boys.

Happy 21st B-Day Liz !

ALL IN ALL. ADORABLE BABY. GREAT PARTY.

GREEAAT VISIT!!

GAMINO FAMILY <3

Untitled.

I hate how this sounds. I don't like saying it but I'm gonna say it.
 I FEEL SO ALONE.

For the past few months, after the rush of graduation and such, now that things are finally settling.. I feel so alone! I'm loosing my motivation and my "want" to continue...

Only 3 people in my life, honestly made me feel like I can do whatever I wanted to do. Be who I wanted, and I would have 100% support from them. They're no longer in my daily life and I'm feeling it... and feeling it BAD.

Both my Grandma & Grandpa both had a way of telling me, they were proud. "Ya se que mi güerita va hacer algo bueno," is what my Grandpa would say. And my Grandma would say something along the lines of, "Baby girl you are beautiful and you can do anything you set your mind to." After one passed, the other did soon after and I can honestly say I have never been the same since, nor have I ever endured so much heartache.

My brother was also someone who made me feel so proud of myself, with just one look and him saying "you're going places man, that's good!" That to me, is worth so much more than a piece of paper saying I graduated. He always tells me in his letters, "Iron sharpens Iron. You're helping me get through this in here, while I'm helping you get through life out there."

Maybe all this is a sign that I need to stop staying up late,
yet maybe all of what I'm feeling is the real reason for my insomnia.
Its nearing 3am, I'm tired as hell but my mind is not easily eased.

I guess the point of this is..
Kind words from warm hearts is what I'm missing.
Perhaps kinds words from the Lord is what I need.

4th of July

FIREWORKS:
They're the main thing I look forward to every year. I always get mesmerized by the bright colors and loud sounds and it trips me out how everyone's so quiet while gazing into the sky.

My 4th of July went well. However, at first, I was pretty upset that I had to work til 6pm. I was hoping we'd close early at least but no.... we closed at the usual time on a Sunday. I also expected it to be a slow day, with maybe 2 to 3 customers every hour, but it was really busy!!
I WAS SOOO MAD!! I wanted it to rain on everyone who was having a good time at the park and cooking out. I was hating hardcore. lmao. AND THE STUPID PHONE WOULD NOT STOP RINGING!!!
I was thinking, "who wants office supplies on 4th of July????"
Anyway, 6pm rolls around and I'm outta there, going 80mph on the highway.. trying to RUSH home lol

I made plans with the family to head out to Lonestar Park. We usually don't have a tradition but I think we're gonna keep this one. We all had a good time I took a short nap, laying on a blanket and the fireworks were great :D Then my cousins and I started getting nerdy, and started talking about the different components and elements that make up fireworks lmao. 

I found out that Fireworks were invented in ancient China, to scare away evil spirits. Pretty cool huh.

Anyway, I hope everyone's 4th of July was fun
and everyone stayed safe. :D

Fathers Day

"WHAT'S HAPPENIN FORUM?!"

hahahahahahaha. xD

i'm in a fantastic mood; don't judge me.

Like any other Sunday, I worked. It was slow and I did some laundry.

I seriously need to change my routine!  -_-

Anywho, I spent fathers day watching a movie with my dad. Me and my dad have that laid-back persona in common. We don't ask for much and just kickin' it at the house is good enough... We saw The Lovely Bones, and ohh man. What a tear jerker! It usually takes alot, i mean ALOT, for me to cry from watching a movie; but this movie had my eyes wateryyyy. To sum it all up its basically about a young girl who gets killed and her dad goes through alot to solve her death case. The love between a father and daughter is shown in the film beautifully. What a perfect day to watch it :)

We liked the movie so much, even my dad stayed awake through the whole thing. He usually falls asleep in the middle of movies, which i don't blame him. My dad is a hard working man. I get my fantastic work ethics from him :D Seriously tho, my dad has always worked extremely hard to provide for my family, and never once did he not deliver. And I've only been working for two years at the same job, he's got about 25 years under his belt at the SAME PLACE! If that's not consistency I don't know what is.

Which reminds me, my dad works at a factory/manufacturing company which provide him with a uniform.

That being said, I'm sure some jobs of middle-class fathers don't require wearing a tie. THAT being said.....

I could never understand why its so common to give suit ties to our dads on Fathers Day. Who really wears them to work?? The last time my dad wore a tie was..... probably a wedding... two years ago! That trips me out every year haha.

Even Google's gettin in on the whole "tie for Fathers Day" thing

In my opinion, they should have like, hardhats or measuring tapes for those hard working construction workers. Or a basketball for the athelets. OR! computer coding for those dads woking in technology...

idk, i'm just saying....

That is all. <3

Happy Fathers Day!

Bad Day

well!
today just DID NOT go right. from beginning to end.

i awoke today, like any other day. stumbling around my room looking for my slippers and finally getting them out of the trash. i'm assuming my little brother put them there -_-

breakfast consisted of a hand full of cookie crisp and almost NO milk. its partially my fault that we have no groceries cause i've been so "busy" watching tv and movies all day.

i wake up to like 16 text messages asking "where's your mom, i've been trying to get ahold of her?" or "hey are our yearbooks ready"
so i spent like 30 minutes responding "she's in mexico" and "no. next week"

haha. i love that people come to me with questions, i really do. i just was NOT up for it today.

my day continues with NOTHING on tv. the stupid Wii console was being stupid. my phone broke AGAIN. did i mention most of my friends are in cancun :(

also, i was plannin on going for a run today at the park but NOOOO!
my dad didn't leave me the car keys. so i was stranded at home, no food, no money, NOTHING.

then i jumped on the net and found this link. CLICK HERE it changed my whole mood.
i realized there wayyyy bigger issues on this earth than my dumb complaints.

so i sucked it up and took my little brother down the block and got chased by a giant rat (chihuahua).

haha. he was trippin me out the WHOLE way cracking jokes and making weird noises. those who know him well, know exactly what i'm talking about lmao. and we got to do something i havent done in YEARS.

... JUMP IN RAIN PUDDLES!


lmao. i love this kid. he completes me.

I feel Naked

Even I have to admit sometimes, I get lazy but this week
O.o i didn't even know it was already thursday!

My best friends were Facebook, My cell phone, Youtube and Netflix :D
they're always there for me lmao

now lemme explain why i feel naked HAHA.
...So this morning, my mom wakes me up asking for my camera.
(no one, i mean no one is allowed to borrow my camera)
our conversation went a little something like this"

Mom: "where's ur camera?"
Me: "for what"
Mom: "i'm going out of town remember!"
Me: "ohh man! that means i'm not getting it back."
Mom: "what is that supposed to mean?!"
Me: "it means, you're gonna get alittle too crazy and drop it"
Mom: "excuse you! i am a responsible adult, i know what i'm doing"
Me: "you didn't know what you were doing when you dropped the Silver camera in the toilet!! explain that!"
Mom: "girl, that wasn't even your camera, and it was an accident. you've dropped your phone in the toilet too!"
Me: "touché"
Mom: "what does that mean"
Me: "nothing, here's the case, and the charger is in my purse."
Mom: "don't forget to pick up Estevan from school, HE HAS EARLY RELEASE! DO YOU HEAR ME????!!!"
Me: "have fun. be careful. love you. bye."
Mom: "you need to stop staying up late, BLOGGING!"


lmao..... so, she won. like always.
and she took my camera, and i feel naked.
O_o


so while i was YouTubing HARDCORE this week, i came across a video i had seen like a year ago. i didn't think it was a big deal until now. if anyone's familiar with iCarly they'd understand why its so amazing. the star of the show, iCarly is Miranda Cosgrove, which has like 4 songs already. and honestly after watching this, you will wonder why the co-star Jenette McCurdy isn't the big star.



This is just my opinion, but I'd rather see this girl selling records than Taylor Swift. Jennette McCurdy is working on an album (i think) and i'm EXCITED :)

Graduation Weekend

oh man. i still can't put into words how my graduation was.

the night before i had the HARDEST time sleeping! everything was bothering me and my room was hot and i was hungry and ughhh. i was annoyed by everything, i just couldn't sleep! lol

I woke up with 5 hours of sleep and started to get ready.. typical morning:
dragging around, eyes half-open and my clothes were crooked. haha

so my dad's driving me, (i hate when i'm in a rush somewhere and it seems like he goes slow on purpose!!) anyway, i'm rushing him, he's mad cause i'm rushing him and i'm mad at my brother for being cranky and he's mad at us for waking him up early lol! there's so much tension in the car, i couldn't wait to get dropped off!!

FINALLY, i arrive, get in line, fix myself ( robe, chords, cap) and laugh nervously with my classmates until its SHOW TIME!!

Since I was senior class president of my school, I got to walk out with a HEAVY gold staff and hand it over to our principal. All the other class presidents met in the middle and did the same thing. It was pretty cool. :D

NEXT THING I KNOW. I'm standing in line for the stage! I'm walking across, shaking hands, giving hugs, and BAM!!!! i'm already in my seat! I'm thinking WHAT THE HECK!! THAT''S IT?!.

A few speeches later, and I'm walking out!! IF YOU CAN'T TELL BY NOW, GRADUATION WENT BY TOOOO FAST FOR ME!! lol! so fast i feel like it didn't even happen lol!

Afterwards, I had this empty feeling in the pit of my stomache. I knew I'd feel that way, I was just hoping it would be so bad. Hugging my parents and brother made me realize how much I missed my older brother. I felt like someone had ripped some life out of me, I wasn't myself for a good hour or so.. I couldn't shake the feeling. I still can't, and I've tried torturing myself by looking at pictures and reading letters but NOTHING. Not one tear. I'm officially numb of all emotion.

So Saturday night I went out with some friends. We had an OK time. Not great. Just Ok. The best part was crackin jokes on the way back.. lol

Sunday morning, I woke up on my friend's bed TOO EARLY. We ate, got lazy and I came home. Went to a pool party and called it a night.

I had a hard time REALLY enjoying anything this weekend cause of that "thing on my chest" I would love to relieve myself from it but no luck. I'm hoping with time it will pass and I will be able to feel things again, even if its a bad feeling.

Today, I finally gathered the strength to write my brother, I told him about graduation and how I wished he was there. It was VERY hard. Mostly because I know how much it would hurt him, knowing he missed out.

.... the moral of the story is, my graduation would have been better, if my brother had been there. i miss him so much.

3-Day Weekend

BLEEH..... goes my brain.

This weekend was supposed to be CHILL. But NOOOO! i just had to have all kinds of things to do. Once again. My weekend went from Friday to Sunday night in the blink of an eye!

Friday. I got to sleep in til noon; a well-deserved lazy morning.
Then noon came, and ON TO THE ERRANDS.
I went to my cousin's house to borrow some shoes; when we started tooking through baby pictures. :D aww


CAPTION: me, erica , and liz on x-mas looking adorable!


CAPTION: haha. remember getting THIS many gifts? lmao this should've been on a commercial or something.


CAPTION: ayy. i was small but i was fast ;D


CAPTION: my dad has this picture blown up in the living room lol i look dorky.


so after taking a trip down memory lane,
i went home like a loser and went to bed early. whomp-whomp

SATURDAY:
ahh. i dreaded waking up early; not for work this time.
for a scholarship interview. *pray for me*

it was allll they wayyyy in Richardson. jeez, the scholarship could pay for half the gas getting there... lol
my dad was a good sport and he took me :)

during the interview; i saw some fellow classmates :D
(good luck girls)

post-interview mode was on as soon as i got in the car.
i fell asleep on the way home and woke up in bed; i didn't recall getting out of the car tho...... strange.

my night ended by going to the movies with the fam. and getting a headache on the way home. GREAT -_- (sarcasm)

SUNDAY:
work. grocery shopping and laundry.
typical sunday.

anyway. i hope SENIOR WEEK makes up for my "over-too-soon" weekend.
<3

Hakuna Matata

wow. my weekend flew byyy!!!!


right after work on Saturday, i went to my uncles house for my grandma's surprise 70th birthday party!
as soon as i walked in, i found this beautiful lady sitting at the dining room table.. about to open gifts :D

so i start the LONG process of saying hi to everyone. a kiss on the cheek and a hug is how we do it. and until you greet EVERYONE, you're not officially there! lol even if its 30 cousins and 11 aunts and uncles, in my family, its a must! haha

soon after, we get to dancing, our old skool, cumbias and even michael jackson..
NOW.........
i don't know about your grandma but my grandma can cut a mean rug. lmfao!!

so after i burned some calories on the dance floor/patio;
i started taking random pics with my cousins. i find it funny that the random pictures are always the ones that end up being my favorite.
EXAMPLE 1)

haha.. good times

So, then Sunday was Baccalaureate.
talk about a tease!! they make us wear our grad robes and dress up, and get all excited.. make ME get nervous, which rarely happens, by assigning me an intro speech..

they do all this when we have school the very next day. i'm thinking, "wow this is it. i'm about to graduate. no more high school. on to the next one.."
then i remember "HOLD UP! i need to FINISH high school first" haha..

seriously tho, the service was nice. i love that our guest speaker used a Lion King reference lol! he picked the right age group cause i know 99.9% of us knew what "hakuna matata" meant. aside from the bright lights/cameras in my face and the fact that the temp of the room was like the inside of a Hot Pocket....
all in all, it was a nice little "snippet" of what's to come on the glorious day, MAY 29th.


my aunts and cousin's came to support me :D
love yall, and thanks for coming :)

Graduation

So these past few days flew by!!
I could've sworn it was still Monday.. jeez.

Senior year couldn't get any busier for me. On top of school work, there's AP exams, final projects, speeches to prepare, scholarships to finish, senior pictures to book, I'm also looking for a new job, and that's just the school part. I have a social life to; well at least I hope it still exists lmao.

and this is only the beginning..

dun, dun, dunnn!!!


Cap & Gowns are to arrive tomorrow, and ..... its about time!
This sunday is Baccalaureate :) and I will be speaking. Nervous? Yes
I have a script tho so I'm good.

Yesterday I went to the Travel and Tourism graduation to support some friends from school. I'm so proud of them; especially the students who received scholarships :) Who doesn't like scholarships?!?! Anyway, it made me realize how close my graduation is. May 29th. Its like I want to stall and stay in my senioritis-state forever and just hold off graduation; but at the same I want to get the heck out of high school! No more idiot freshmen standing in the middle of the hallway, getting in MY way! No more annoucements from Alice (Townview kids should agree). I'm sick of it, sick of the same freakin thing for 4 years. At least in college, I'll have more freedom to switch up my routine. Can't wait....

&& I found this picture, I was on the DISD Teen Board this year. Our group photo :D

Mother's Day.

Even though I worked all day and my mom was out of town. Today I realized how much I love my momma. I was driving home from work, alone and thinking... about how much my life has changed since my parents split but my close relationship with my mom has stayed the same; I think we're closer. Same with my dad too. The split allowed me to get to know them as individual parents; it's hard to explain the bittersweetness of it all.. Then 2Pac's "Dear Momma" came on the radio; ha!! perfet timing!

I found this poem a while back. I was going to read it to her on my birthday; because if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have one..

I have no idea who wrote it or what its called. But it pretty much describes how my momma shaped me into who i am...

IT STARTS:

A mother's love determines how
We love ourselves and others.
There is no sky we'll ever see
Not lit by that first love.

Stripped of love, the universe
Would drive us mad with pain;
But we are born into a world
That greets our cries with joy.

How much I owe you for the kiss
That told me who I was!
The greatest gift--a love of life--
Lay laughing in your eyes.


AW. SO CUTE ITS ALMOST CHEESY. lmao! oh well, we're all excused for today to get alittle emotional and cheesy. :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Letters from my Brother and Jonah Hex

I haven't been to school in two days.
I feel so isolated, it's crazy how if you miss a day or two
at Townview, it's like missing weeks!

So I was feeling a bit ...
down, you could say.

not sad. but in that neighborhood.

I haven't spoken to anyone my age and it's drving me crazy.
I didn't leave my house cause my eye was swollen due to some
weird infection. gross. I was too embarrassed to leave my house.
Not to mention cranky cause of the pain.

Highschool is almost over, the real world is right around the corner
and it's slowly starting to hit me. I'm leaving my family for college,
hopefully, (if all goes well financially) to San Antonio.
anyway, right when i'm feeling blue.

I received a letter from my brother (who is being detained at a
solitary confinement center). Its weird, he always knows when
i need to hear some positive words even when he was out.
He told me everything I needed to hear. :D
"keep you head up, don't look down. you're gonna be somebody
so you better start acting like it"

letters from my brother are the best.

IN OTHER NEWS.

I just saw the trailer for Jonah Hex.
I don't care what its about, although it looks pretty good,
Megan Fox is in it so I will be seeing it :D

although i hate that she sticks to skanky sexy roles
and the fact that i can't imagine her doing a serious role..
but i mean hey, if you got it, why not!




THAT IS ALL.
<3