Let’s stay together ’til we’re ghosts

Serious question:
What is marriage now?

Is it no longer sacred but now a habitual practice?


I was 16 when my parents called it quits. It was the end of my world at the time because well, they were my crutches in life.. as I was learning to walk on my own and they wanted nothing to do with each other.

But now that I'm older, I see they are much happier single. And yes that's important but how did they become UNhappy?? When did my parents fall OUT of love and if it's true love, is that even possible??

I personally find it funny that newlyweds are given a "certificate of marriage".. I mean, if you think about it, they're receiving their certificate of achievement BEFORE the actual achievement = STAYING MARRIED. It never made sense to me and it probably never will, until it's MY TURN to say I DO..after all, anyone can get married, staying married is the challenge.

I guess its one of those things where, you don't know if its real.. until you make it to the end.

Untitled.

I hate how this sounds. I don't like saying it but I'm gonna say it.
 I FEEL SO ALONE.

For the past few months, after the rush of graduation and such, now that things are finally settling.. I feel so alone! I'm loosing my motivation and my "want" to continue...

Only 3 people in my life, honestly made me feel like I can do whatever I wanted to do. Be who I wanted, and I would have 100% support from them. They're no longer in my daily life and I'm feeling it... and feeling it BAD.

Both my Grandma & Grandpa both had a way of telling me, they were proud. "Ya se que mi güerita va hacer algo bueno," is what my Grandpa would say. And my Grandma would say something along the lines of, "Baby girl you are beautiful and you can do anything you set your mind to." After one passed, the other did soon after and I can honestly say I have never been the same since, nor have I ever endured so much heartache.

My brother was also someone who made me feel so proud of myself, with just one look and him saying "you're going places man, that's good!" That to me, is worth so much more than a piece of paper saying I graduated. He always tells me in his letters, "Iron sharpens Iron. You're helping me get through this in here, while I'm helping you get through life out there."

Maybe all this is a sign that I need to stop staying up late,
yet maybe all of what I'm feeling is the real reason for my insomnia.
Its nearing 3am, I'm tired as hell but my mind is not easily eased.

I guess the point of this is..
Kind words from warm hearts is what I'm missing.
Perhaps kinds words from the Lord is what I need.