I hate how this sounds. I don't like saying it but I'm gonna say it.
I FEEL SO ALONE.
For the past few months, after the rush of graduation and such, now that things are finally settling.. I feel so alone! I'm loosing my motivation and my "want" to continue...
Only 3 people in my life, honestly made me feel like I can do whatever I wanted to do. Be who I wanted, and I would have 100% support from them. They're no longer in my daily life and I'm feeling it... and feeling it BAD.
Both my Grandma & Grandpa both had a way of telling me, they were proud. "Ya se que mi güerita va hacer algo bueno," is what my Grandpa would say. And my Grandma would say something along the lines of, "Baby girl you are beautiful and you can do anything you set your mind to." After one passed, the other did soon after and I can honestly say I have never been the same since, nor have I ever endured so much heartache.
My brother was also someone who made me feel so proud of myself, with just one look and him saying "you're going places man, that's good!" That to me, is worth so much more than a piece of paper saying I graduated. He always tells me in his letters, "Iron sharpens Iron. You're helping me get through this in here, while I'm helping you get through life out there."
Maybe all this is a sign that I need to stop staying up late,
yet maybe all of what I'm feeling is the real reason for my insomnia.
Its nearing 3am, I'm tired as hell but my mind is not easily eased.
I guess the point of this is..
Kind words from warm hearts is what I'm missing.
Perhaps kinds words from the Lord is what I need.
